Saturday, December 29, 2012

Just a Little Preview of Our Relationship

Slowly taking away all my power 
Let me explain him to you:
He is a tech geek with a Dominant side. He has the ability to make me feel like a young naive girl with just simple questions. He is slowly turning around every rock in my world without hesitation and I am slowing giving up all my power to him. I feel hypnotized everytime we talk and the moments we skype he can have me do what he pleases. Now we talk about sex a lot not the only thing but sex is important to both of us. A physical connection is just as important as a mental one. I am not as experienced as he is when it comes to sex so when anal came up this is what happen:

Me: I'm to scared to do anal
Him: Do you want to do it?
Me: Yes and No
Him: What do you mean?
Me: Well I don't want the pain but I having a feeling that I'll like it, a lot
Him: Well I'm taking it!
Me: huh
Him: Bend over lick your fingers and finger your ass
Me: But....
Him: Do you know how to listen, you are being difficult. DO IT NOW
Me: I'm sorry, (starts licking fingers)
Him: I'm going to tell you once if I say something you listen, you are my sub understand. You are my fuck toy and I will use all your holes and take them when I want. If you don't want to listen you will pay and I'm not going to spank you I will make you do the most degrading things ever, so watch your mouth with me . Now how does that ass feel
Me: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it hurts
Him: Good :)

Such an ass sometimes but he excites me so much

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Back to Regular Programming

With Christmas activities full swing I wasn’t able to post; my hope with this blog is to be consistently writing on here. Now previously I posted I would talk about what gave me my first glimpse of this lifestyle. Have you ever searched for something for so long and when you least expect it you find it, well this is how this story begins:
For the new guy
               It was about 2 months ago and I had a very short break at school. Since I couldn’t go home and there was nobody at school I decided to go to a chartroom (first mistake). Now when I was younger I use to do this more often but I hadn’t since I was young. Now, as I was looking at the list of usernames I reached the letter D and all these names beginning with Dom appeared. I had always been curious what they meant by Dom so I choose one and decided to ask. I didn’t know at that moments this man would be the one to change my life views forever. We talked on the chartroom a long time and he asked to exchanged pictures, thinking this would be the only time I talked to him I gave him a false photo (second mistake). Soon after, we exchanged numbers (mistake 3, never give out your number). We talked on the phone for hours thats night about everything. I asked him a thousand questions about the lifestyle. What he hadn’t realized was that he given me an “aha” moment, everything he said a Dom was, was exactly what I’ve been looking for in a man. I found that missing piece in my puzzle. The next night I told him that I wanted to be his sub. Soon after we entered a trial basis. The way he demanded things and just had control over my day excited me, but what I hadn’t realized was that I had to Skype with him before he made me his sub. Within a week of avoiding it I couldn’t handle the guilt anymore I told him. As I expected he was upset but said he understood. The only thing was that I had lost his trust which is a big deal in any relationship. Currently him and I are friends I still try to keep in contact with him but I know it will never be the same. But luckily for me there is a new guy in my life. I met him on Fetlife and he lives in my area. Since we began talking a few days before my Christmas break I haven’t been able to meet up with him but things are looking good for me and him. I will let you know how our first encounter goes, by the sound of it he is making sure there is just as much pain as there is pleasure. I am excited a little late christmas gift ;). 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Two Must-Know Facts

  1. I am undeniably a football fanatic BUT not just any football fanatic a 49ers football fanatic. If they are playing I will be watching no ifs, buts, or maybes. My emotions do coincide with their wins and loses. So unfortunately I have had three painful weeks and one week that was uncomfortable (they tied against the rams). Now back to the point of this post, two things you should know: 1. YOU NEVER SAY ANYTHING DISRESPECTFUL ABOUT THE 49ERS. 2. YOU SHOULD AVOID ME ANYTIME THEY LOSE. Those two things are actually pretty simple but sometimes people forget it. Fair warning people
Their last game of the regular season will be against Cardinals 

2. Now Sophia Davis, she is an alternative personality. Since I do try to convey Vanilla living to the outside world I have to keep my personal life very secretive. There can be a point in my life that I won’t have to but for now this is how it must be. 

Saturday, December 22, 2012

A peek into my Vanilla World

Oh Vanilla World, how you constraint me and not in the way I would enjoy. Why can’t everyone understand that I enjoy getting rough while having hot passionate sex. I rather FUCK then make LOVE (sometimes it’s okay hmm, maybe not), show me you love me by pulling my hair and using your belt on me. I am surrounded by people who think stepping outside the box consist of having him spank them as they are face deep in the pillow, my friends have no clue what I would considered stepping outside the box. When we talk about BDSM and we tell each other only "weirdos, creeps, and psychopaths" are into it, deep inside I want to scream that I AM A SUB AND I'M ACTIVELY LOOKING FOR A DOM but society rules keep me from yelling it. Even when I study my thoughts are taking me into another world  I might study like this:

But my thoughts are playing different scenarios of being gagged and tie, I guess the secret is out when I am deep in studying I can guarantee I am really wet and horny thinking of all the different ways I can be dominated

How I love my dirty thoughts they always seem to excite me and keep my own world exciting :)

Understanding this Girl

I am a very blunt young lady and my words usually gets me in trouble but I cannot help it, it is the way I have always been. I find it hard to believe that one day there will be a man who can put me in my place. And here comes the WOW factor of it all, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN YEARNING FOR ALL MY LIFE (yes I am screaming it).

Yes I want a man:
  • Who will fuck me even when I do not want it, just because I am his 
  • I want someone who will give me a look and instantly I will know that I need to shut-up 
  • A man who will have a bad day at work and know I will be the thing he takes his aggression out on 
  • If I do not do as I promise he will be there to remind me and punish me 
  • If I call him out of his name (which I always do to guys. oops!) just once I know that I will be getting a red ass 
  • I want a man who I can trust to drive as I ride passenger 
  • Someone who after getting punished will cuddle and remind me that regardless of what happened he still cares 
  • I want a man who I can live a vanilla life with but have a strong D/s relationship 

I know there is a man out there who can turn me into a their sub, I just plan to find him and be waiting for him at his doorsteps.

I just want the simple things in life

Why am I blogging?

I actually hate writing but I love my thoughts/actions/events in life they always seem to be just as strange as me. Even if nobody reads this, it is a way for me to remember everything I will go through as I officially enter my journey through the BDSM world. So what made me curious of the BDSM world? Well, I will save that for another time.